Sunday, May 16, 2010

Hyperemesis Gravidarum

There aren't many people out there who really get it.  Unless you have been through it, it's nearly impossible to understand.  I'm not writing this to point out how miserable I am.  I'm writing it because the message needs to get out there that this IS real and it IS awful, but you can survive and come out on the other side.  I'm absolutely determined to come out on the other side of this, with a story of growth and perseverance!  I'm writing this to share my story in hopes that someone, even just one person, will take the time to understand.

 "People tended to write off how I felt.  "Oh, just eat some crackers".  Believe me, I tried everything.  Some people tried to suggest that it was in my head.  That I didn't want my baby.  She may not have been planned, but I have known for as long as I can remember that I wanted to be a mother above all else in life.  The emotional wounds just added to the ridiculousness of what I was going through.

See that bolded part?  Read that part again.  What's worse for me than the HG?  Dealing with all the emotional wounds that are being created by people who are judging me for my choice to continue the pregnancy, for following my doctors orders, for choosing to take medication to help deal with the debilitating symptoms after analyzing the risks over and over, telling me that I'm making it up, my baby is suffering, and telling me that it's just the stress of my husband being deployed making me sick.  Instead of judgement or trying to tell me what they think is causing my sickness - I wish they would just pray for me or give me some words of encouragement.  Keep the negative thoughts to yourself!  That's really what I need.  I need people who love me to lift myself, my baby, and my husband up in prayer and encourage us along the way!

"I can still only scratch the surface of sharing with you what it was like to have HG, but I hope that if someone you know is ever unfortunate enough to experience this, you will never invalidate them or suggest that it is all in their head.  You'd never doubt a cancer patient's pain, please dont minimize or doubt ours.  It is real.  Too real.  We would do ANYTHING to escape this suffering, no one would ever choose it."

I am so thankful that an organization like the HER Foundation is in existence.  I was just introduced to it today by a friend who has gone through HG herself, and already I can see the benefit of being able to understand this illness on a deeper level and helping those around me understand as well.  I look forward to connecting with others who have been there, and who really get what I am going through.  I'd encourage anyone to take a few moments to educate yourself on this topic.  It could happen to someone you know and love, and it would be an amazing gift for you to be able to share the resource with them, and let them know that you are trying to understand what they are going through.

I ran across this video clip from a documentary that is in the works.  It is a brief overview of one woman's journey through HG and it is powerful.

Hyperemesis Gravidarum Video Clip Rough Cut from WVP on Vimeo.

I'm not at the end of this yet but I know I'll get through it.  I'm even starting to see a little bit of improvement and have some days when I can function normally and do things like clean my kitchen or take our dog for a walk.  Other days it is an accomplishment if I am just able to take a warm bath before going back to bed to sleep through the worst of the symptoms.

It is so hard to just ignore all those who have spoken such negative and hurtful words to me throughout this experience.  I have a wonderful loving family, church family, and amazing husband who may not be close in proximity right now, but they are standing behind me as I walk through this journey.  They are lifting me up in prayer, encouraging me, and just letting me know that God is right here with me and He is ultimately the one that is in control.  Even something as simple as my mom calling to check on me, and being willing to fly out to help take care of me should I need the help - it speaks volumes and it gets me through the worst moments. 

God has given us such a gift in this miracle baby and I am so thankful.  It really will be ok again, eventually.  This will not last forever.  I am loved and so is this baby!  I cannot wait to see what God has in store for this amazing little baby growing inside my belly.  It is going to be amazing!


The Kinglands said...

Grrrrrrrr....who's speaking negative & hurtful words to you about all this?!?!? Let me at em.............

Cat said...

@ Tara - oh bestie... it's been a day. Let me tell you, I had no idea how much drama could ever be possible from posting a photo of 5 empty milk jugs. lol. God has a plan - even if it is just for me to help spread awareness and lessen the ignorance on the subject. He's working wonders on my patience and "turning the other cheek" skills too! ;-)

Melissa said...

HG is a serious medical condition and i'm shocked to hear that you're not getting support. actually, i was shocked when i read the blog entry from uncensoredwoman that you posted on facebook yesterday. my husband and mother were VERY supportive in my struggle with HG. thank the lord it only lasted a little more than the first trimester. ((HUGS)) and *BIG PRAYERS* for u sweetie!!!

Cat said...

@ Melissa - Thank you hun!! I know you get it and I am so sorry that you had to go through it also. I am shocked at some of the things that have been said to me during this pregnancy, and yet I am starting to expect it from the people it is coming from, ya know? My mom is wonderful and I wish so much that she lived closer! I know my husband would get it if he were here, and he does his best to understand from very far away.

All the others, well I really don't know what to tell them, except that I can't handle the negativity in my life and it is THEIR loss if they choose to continue to act the way that they are. Family or not, I will let no one convince me I should abandon my child and give up being a mother because it's a difficult path to walk. It makes me think long and hard about who I want in my childs life as well!

Kathryn said...

Wow, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this especially while your husband is deployed. I will be praying and thank you for making others aware. I had never heard of it before. Don't listen to others, do the right thing, God will take care of the baby!

ATALW said...

*Hugs* And, lots and lots of prayers!!

Blogger said...

Thank you for blogging about this! I have HG too...and I can totally relate to how unsupportive friends and family can be. Yay, you are almost there! I am due in January, I can't wait to hold this little one and feel good again! Praying for last month goes quickly!!!

Heather said...

Hi! I just found out I have HG. I am in tears right now reading this post realizing I'm not the only sufferer. I've felt like such a wus. I had a normal pregnancy with my son, but with this baby it has been far from normal. Do you know if there are support groups for this? I am so weak and exhausted from this day in and day out. Thank you for writing this!!

Heather From and Mommy Only Has 2 Hands!

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