Thursday, August 4, 2011

It's A Beautiful Ride...

Graphic I made and had as a banner on one of my very first blogs almost 10 years ago!

There's a country song that pretty much describes how the first half of this deployment has been. Obviously, I've been less than active in the blogging community and while I would like to say I'm sorry - I'm not really.

You see, sometimes life is just plain hard. This solo-parenting while my husband is deployed thing?  It's HARD. Harder than I ever really thought it would be to tell you the truth.  Maintaining a thriving marriage while living thousands of miles apart with crappy communication and very little time for each other?  HARDER.  I miss my husband so much that it hurts sometimes and it's not just that I want him home, but being apart right now it feels like we are living totally different lives and I hate that! I hate even more that there is nothing I can do about it, except learn from it and do it the best I can with a smile on my face as much as I can.

I've learned that sometimes I have to say no to outside things and events, even when I really don't want to. Staying busy is a great way to pass the days during a deployment and while I definitely advocate it, I've begun to realize that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with saying "I can't handle one more thing on my plate right now!!"

So that's what I've done... I've taken a step back and I don't regret it for one second.  As the song says, "the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise."  In a few months when this deployment finally comes in an end I know that I will be able to look back and see myself as stronger and wise because of the choices I've made to just step back and sit on the sidelines for awhile.

Don't let me fool you - we've stayed plenty busy, but I've stopped stressing out if I can't make it to every single event I'm invited to or if some days we end up just hanging out in our pajamas all day as we nurse, play, nap and just enjoy the special bond between us as mother and daughter. Sometimes the laundry piles up, and I eat off paper plates so I don't have to wash more dishes.  Those petty things do NOT matter. The moments are not going to last forever and my baby is growing up so quickly...  I just want to cherish every second.

There is nothing that can turn my day around faster than a hug and kiss from my sweet girl, a content glance as she looks up at me and gently pats me arm while she nurses, or hearing her little voice sing out "mama, mama". I love being a mama so much and am so blessed with the most amazing little girl!

Life ain't always beautiful, but it is such a beautiful ride!  There is so much more than I could say, and I do hope to come back to blogging more often in the next few weeks (because believe me, I have SO MUCH to talk about - it's been a BUSY summer!!)...  but that sweet little voice is calling out for me right now so I'm going to go scoop her up, get us ready for bed and snuggle in for some sweet special moments that are much more important to soak up that browsing Pinterest or Facebook etc.

If you're going through a deployment or not, life can be hard...  when the harder moments come, look around and take stock of all the beautiful things in your life and focus on those things for a few moments. Let those beautiful things refresh you so that you have the strength to get through the hard things. As hard as it is to solo-parent right now, I wouldn't change a single thing if given the chance. I am so blessed and so thankful for the life that I'm living... I'm learning to embrace the moments and trust that God will make sure that my hard times don't last forever.

If you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to hear about the beautiful things in your life that keep you going during the hard times!  Just leave a comment below and if you choose to blog about it, leave the link so I can visit your blog!

If you've never heard the song I'm referring to you can watch it via You Tube HERE

No,life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don't work that way

But the struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time