Saturday, September 11, 2010

Remembering 9/11

Where were you when the world stopped turning on September 11, 2001?  It's a question that echoes throughout the country on this day every year since that terrifying day 9 years ago.

Today was just another ordinary day...  It's our dog's 10th birthday today so after our Bradley Birthing Class we took him to PetsMart to pick out some special treats.  We then took pictures with his birthday hat in the backyard.  My husband and I watched a movie in bed and napped this afternoon.  Tonight I've been enjoying feeling my daughter move and listening to her heartbeat on the doppler.  It was nothing like the day we all experienced 9 years ago... 

Nine years ago, I was 17 yrs old.  I'd gone to bed sick the night before.  My mom had already left for work and my dad did not have to be in the office until later in the day.  As usual, I remember hearing Good Morning America coming from the TV in the living room.  The next thing I remember is my dad coming into my room to wake me up and tell me what was going on.  I remember sitting on the couch with my puppies and my dad, in complete silence as we watched.  We called my mom at the office and asked if she knew what was going on.  To be entirely honest, the rest of that day and the following days were a blur.  I remember phone calls to family members, hugging my parents, praying, and being thankful.  I remember talking to friends and sharing our thoughts and fears.  I remember memorials and honoring services at church and in the community.  We went to them all.  The band I was in at the time played at a fundraiser.  A friend and I performed a "creative movement " at another tribute to a song that still brings tears to my eyes everytime I hear it... not just because of the song --but because of all the emotions and thoughts it brings back from those days. I can remember being scared about what was going to happen to our country...  I worried about what would happen next.  I remember wishing I could do something more to help.

It's been 9 years...  When I look back at the day I feel lucky.  I feel greatful to be alive and to know that my family is all safe.  I can't pretend to understand or even dare to find a reason for what happened.  God is really the only one who has the answers, and we just have to trust that He knows best.  Its important to honor those that lost their lives...  the everyday people that stepped up to the plate and became heroes, the family members who had to carry on without loved ones.  What happened that day has affected who we are and how we live... but we carry on.  We never forget -- but we carry on.  
"... The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.  What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within."  Our country, for the most part, has faced this challenge with courage and strength...  There's too much controversy surrounding everything.  I choose to just trust that God has a plan.  Everything works out according to His plan and not our own.  Im proud to be an American.

I could keep going with my thoughts and feelings.  I could go on about how it feels to have been a flight attendant post 9-11 and to be trained for all the what if's and what could be's on a plane. I would never have guessed back then that I would fall in love with and marry a man in the military.  It's hard to put into words what I feel today...  I'm proud of my husband and all the others in the military who sacrifice so much to fight for our freedom.  I'm sad for the lives that were lost that day and in the days following.  I wish that something so tragic had never happened in our great country.  I find hope in knowing that God has a plan and even when bad things happen He is still the same God He was before.  I could re-write this 100 times and it still would not say exactly what I want it to say.  Instead, I'm going to leave what I've written and leave out what I haven't.  One thing that stands out for me...  Tell people how you feel.  If you love someone --  tell them.  Right now.  You may not always have another chance.  Someday may never come.  So act right now...  and don't wait.  A few minutes could change our lives on what seems like just another day.  
I'll never forget that day or the way it changed our country and everyone in it.

"Did you burst out in pride for the red white and blue.  The heroes who died just doing what they do. Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer, and look at yourself for what really matters.  I'm just a singer of simple songs, I'm not a real political man. I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you, the difference in Iraq and Iran. I know Jesus and I talk to God, and I remember this from when I was young... 
Faith Hope and Love are some good things He gave us... And the greatest is love"