peek a boo

Who can't smile when they hear her sweet giggles?
We love our sweet Monkey!

Happy 1/2 birthday baby girl!
I can hardly remember life without you and it certainly is better WITH you!

together

Can you hold me together? Can your love reach down this far?

Can you hold me together? 'Cause without you holding my heart, I'm falling apart.
I'm falling apart.

And love will hold us together, make us a shelter to weather the storm.

'Cause even the dark you can still see the light. It's gonna be alright. 

It's gonna be alright.

Anyone can feel the ache, you think it's more than you can take.

But you are stronger, stronger than you know.
Don't you give up now, the sun will soon be shining.

You gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining.

I've seen dreams that move the mountains.
Hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling.
And I've seen miracles just happen.
Silent prayers get answered.

Broken hearts become brand new.

That's what faith can do.

When the world says you can't, it'll tell you that you can.
That's what faith can do.

Serious illness. Financial stress. Scary Pregnancy/Delivery. Deployments.
Whatever life throws our way...


Our God is greater, our God is stronger.
Our God is healer, awesome and power.
And if our God is for us, then who can ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against us?

He gave us each other.
When we are weak, He will make us strong.

Together we can get through anything.
I love you, Sarge.

** Thank you KLove morning show (with Mandisa in for Lisa) for playing the perfect soundtrack at just the right time.  Lyrics from Royal Tailor, Matt Maher, Kutless, and Chris Tomlin.

time to feel, time to be

I know I haven't been posting like I should. I've tried - really hard. Between the spotty internet, stress, and military deployment curve-balls being thrown our way, it's just not happening. I know some of you are waiting for the continuation of Monkey's diagnosis story, and I promise it's coming by the end of next week. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting - it wasn't my intention, it's just what is.

Life kind of got in the way of everything for right now and I'm doing good just to keep going while we figure out what is happening in our immediate future.

So what is going on? Deployment is so close to starting, and emotions we didn't expect to come to the surface this time around have made their way to the surface of our hearts. Silly us, we thought since we'd been through this before it would be easier this time. I never imagined it would actually be harder.

Sarge and I, our last night at home
Deployment #1, December 2009

For now, I'm soaking up the moments in his arms.

I'm savoring every second we have in these moments.

When he comes home all 3 of us will have experienced at least one birthday, and changed a digit or two in our ages. So many holidays and special events we had planned on finally spending together are going to be missed again this year... along with some new ones we didn't imagine we'd be missing.


The latest changes to the deployment have just been hard to swallow for both of us. This just wasn't what we had planned and we don't understand why it has to be this way.

Monkey and Daddy - cuddling in the hotel room
Deployment #2, April 2011

We are also in the midst of making some big decisions concerning our future, and right now it seems like absolutely nothing is certain or stable except our love for each other and our little family, and of course God.

We are trusting and relying on our faith in God to pull us through everything we are facing. He knows so much better than we do and somehow He has a plan for us in all of this. We trust Him, but it doesn't make it easy.

Right now, I know it's ok to fall apart because in a few days he will be gone and that's when I have to be strong. For Monkey, for Sarge, to keep myself going... so for now?

It's ok if the tears fall, because he's here to wipe them away, hold me and remind me that no matter what we will be ok.  I'll be posting more on this song and how it has touched my life, later... but for now I'm just going to quote it.

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy. And what if trials of this life - the rain, the storms, the hardest nights - are your mercies in disguise... - Laura Story, Blessings

laughter is good for the soul

I feel like my head is spinning and I'm having trouble concentrating.
Part of it is stress. Part of it is exhaustion. Part of it is that I'm still battling illness.

My house is a mess.  

My laundry pile is overflowing.  

Last night we ate hot pockets for dinner because I didn't want to scrub the skillet from the night before.

You know what though?  Absolutely NONE of this matters.

I spent most of the day in bed, cuddling and giggling with my little girl. I don't regret it at all!

Pre-bedtime nursing in the bathtub = Heaven on earth!

2am is my new bedtime... those extra couple hours in the day with my husband are so special!

The moments are what matter. The rest of it is just... filler stuff!

In just a matter of days our family will be going through another deployment. While having a clean house and being caught up on the laundry would be nice, there will be plenty of time for it later. Right now, I just want to soak up these precious moments that are right in front of us. When Sarge gets back we are all going to be in a different place than where we are right now.  So, I think it's important to focus on this time together, soaking up these moments while we can.

... and baby giggles?  They are one of the BEST gifts God ever gave us!

Today I am thankful for my little girl's laughter. It melts away the stress and burdens on my heart.  I am thankful for the grace of my husband who understands it's hard to send him off to war, and thankful he allows me a "mental health" day to just be in the moment and let everything else go. I am thankful for the moments God is giving me to enjoy right now.