2012 is HERE!

Happy New Year!!
Our family at midnight on 1/1/12

I can hardly believe that 2011 has ended and the new year has begun!  Obviously, this blog took a backseat for the majority of 2011. To be honest, this last year was a challenging one. There were highs and lows and lots of in-betweens and I'm really pretty glad to see a new year begin - full of new beginnings and adventures.  Thanks for hanging in there with me while I wasn't very frequent around here.

I'll do a full catch up/re-cap 2011 post in the next couple days, but I thought I'd just update on what is going on in our lives right now.

Sarge made it home (FINALLY) from his 2nd deployment just before Christmas! By the time he got back home he had been gone for 9 months. Re-integration has been quite different this time around, but we are all adjusting and things are falling back into place.  We celebrated Monkey's 1st birthday just before Christmas as well. She actually turned one at the end of October, but we felt it was important to wait until Daddy was home to celebrate. Her party was amazing and it was so nice to be able to celebrate our baby girl together!

We had a fantastic Christmas together! We stayed home this year, which was a very nice change. We haven't been at home for Christmas since our first Christmas together 3 years ago. We took Christmas Day very leisurely and enjoyed Skyping with family and watching our girl experience the magic of Christmas as she opened all of her gifts.

Now, we are busy preparing for our first official PCS!  We are headed to northern California and the movers will be here in about 2 weeks - YIKES!  We aren't anywhere near ready, but we'll get there!  More on that soon -- I am hoping to Vlog our PCS as we go along. We are taking leave en route so we won't actually arrive at our new base until the end of February. It should be quite the adventure!

That pretty much catches up the last couple of months!  I hope to post a lot more this year than I did last year, though in an effort to reduce stress during a stressful time I am not going to promise how often, and will instead just promise to do much better than last year!

I hope the beginning of 2012 has been good to you!  Happy New Year!

I Will Praise You In This Storm

I promise that someday soon this blog won't just be random ramblings when I'm working through a hard time.

I keep praying that I'll be able to use it for something more... but maybe, this is exactly what I need to use this blog for right now -- to work through the hard times. Maybe my ramblings will be used to show someone who randomly stumbles upon this blog during their own hard time that "my help comes from the Lord" and no matter how difficult my circumstances, I know that if I turn to Him He WILL be there and I will get through whatever it is...  sometimes He doesn't take away the pain, tears, or battle we are facing. Maybe it will encourage someone to know that sometimes the best thing He can do is walk through it with us, and when we are too weak to walk it is then that He carries us.

Today, after listening to me pour my heart out about my circumstances one of my very best friends posted a link to a song on my wall. No words were needed... just that simple link, and it was spot on. I don't have the option to pull the covers over my head and cry. The circumstances are not just going to go away. My daughter needs me to be strong. My husband needs me to be strong. I have to just find a way to keep keeping on.

Where does my strength come from?  It comes from the Lord because He will never leave my side. He helps me handle anything I am given.

So God, I'm choosing to praise YOU in this storm because you are who you say you are. Though my heart is torn, I will praise YOU in this storm...

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

It's A Beautiful Ride...

Graphic I made and had as a banner on one of my very first blogs almost 10 years ago!

There's a country song that pretty much describes how the first half of this deployment has been. Obviously, I've been less than active in the blogging community and while I would like to say I'm sorry - I'm not really.

You see, sometimes life is just plain hard. This solo-parenting while my husband is deployed thing?  It's HARD. Harder than I ever really thought it would be to tell you the truth.  Maintaining a thriving marriage while living thousands of miles apart with crappy communication and very little time for each other?  HARDER.  I miss my husband so much that it hurts sometimes and it's not just that I want him home, but being apart right now it feels like we are living totally different lives and I hate that! I hate even more that there is nothing I can do about it, except learn from it and do it the best I can with a smile on my face as much as I can.

I've learned that sometimes I have to say no to outside things and events, even when I really don't want to. Staying busy is a great way to pass the days during a deployment and while I definitely advocate it, I've begun to realize that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with saying "I can't handle one more thing on my plate right now!!"

So that's what I've done... I've taken a step back and I don't regret it for one second.  As the song says, "the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise."  In a few months when this deployment finally comes in an end I know that I will be able to look back and see myself as stronger and wise because of the choices I've made to just step back and sit on the sidelines for awhile.

Don't let me fool you - we've stayed plenty busy, but I've stopped stressing out if I can't make it to every single event I'm invited to or if some days we end up just hanging out in our pajamas all day as we nurse, play, nap and just enjoy the special bond between us as mother and daughter. Sometimes the laundry piles up, and I eat off paper plates so I don't have to wash more dishes.  Those petty things do NOT matter. The moments are not going to last forever and my baby is growing up so quickly...  I just want to cherish every second.

There is nothing that can turn my day around faster than a hug and kiss from my sweet girl, a content glance as she looks up at me and gently pats me arm while she nurses, or hearing her little voice sing out "mama, mama". I love being a mama so much and am so blessed with the most amazing little girl!

Life ain't always beautiful, but it is such a beautiful ride!  There is so much more than I could say, and I do hope to come back to blogging more often in the next few weeks (because believe me, I have SO MUCH to talk about - it's been a BUSY summer!!)...  but that sweet little voice is calling out for me right now so I'm going to go scoop her up, get us ready for bed and snuggle in for some sweet special moments that are much more important to soak up that browsing Pinterest or Facebook etc.

If you're going through a deployment or not, life can be hard...  when the harder moments come, look around and take stock of all the beautiful things in your life and focus on those things for a few moments. Let those beautiful things refresh you so that you have the strength to get through the hard things. As hard as it is to solo-parent right now, I wouldn't change a single thing if given the chance. I am so blessed and so thankful for the life that I'm living... I'm learning to embrace the moments and trust that God will make sure that my hard times don't last forever.

If you're comfortable sharing, I'd love to hear about the beautiful things in your life that keep you going during the hard times!  Just leave a comment below and if you choose to blog about it, leave the link so I can visit your blog!

If you've never heard the song I'm referring to you can watch it via You Tube HERE

No,life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don't work that way


But the struggles makes me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin' its sweet time